Mommy Etiquette at Chick-Fil-A

Chick-Fil-A has a great little play area for kids.  A little treehouse area for the littlest ones and then a larger set of tunnels and slides for the big ones.

The only problem is I experience Awkward Mom Syndrome in there.

We had a little visit to CFA over spring break.

Staff had taped up a sign saying you HAD to go in there WITH your kids (way to suck the fun out of it Chick Fil A).

So we go in.  Mom and kids. There are other moms in there too.    What is proper etiquette for this???

I feel like I am obligated to talk to them.  Chit chat.  Mom's Club or something.

Do you know how much I suck at small talk?

Then one mom in there keeps calling one of her kids "Sugar Bunches." Yay for nicknames, but really when you are telling the kid for the eighth time that it is time to leave, maybe the ship has sailed for lovey dovey names.  But noooo, not Perfect Mom.

"Sugar Bunches come get your shoes on."
"Get your shoes on now Sugar Bunches."
"Sugar Bunches you are at a crossroads right now.  Are you going to choose right or choose wrong?"  (Honest to heck she said that.)
"Lets go Sugar Bunches."
"Now Sugar Bunches you need to say 'Yes Mommy I will obey right away without complaining.'"

BARF

Perfect Mom seemed to want us all to think she has it all together with her 3 boys and her calm nicknames and ten dozen warnings to start obeying and never losing her patience.  Perfect Mom eventually got Sugar Bunches and his brothers out the door...miraculously.
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All that was left was me and one other mom.  She was young and fantastically skinny.  I wanted to say "I hate you for being so skinny, show me a stretch mark or something to prove that you DO have insecurities like the rest of us."

I did not say that.


What transpired was awkward moments of silence, grinning stupidly at each other's children as if THAT IS THE CUTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN EXCEPT FOR MY OWN KID, OF COURSE, and two failed attempts at conversation on my part.

What gives??  Are we supposed to chat like friends in the Chick Fil A play area or NOT.
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And finally, one last Awkward Mom Moment.  The treehouse area is labeled with two big signs that it is for 3yrs old and UNDER, ONLY.  Exclamation point, period, period, exclamation point.  The staff is serious about this.  The big kids wander in and out of the treehouse, climbing on it, inside it, etc.  I keep my mouth shut.  (Their mom was NOT sitting inside the play area with them.  Shamey shamey rule breaker.)  But at the end they got more wound up and my 2 yr old was trying to play and they were all hovered in there about to step on him.  So I said "Hey you guys can't be in there unless you are 3...MyKid, Out"  My older kid obeyed and left.  The others stood there looking at me and playing in there.

Look Jack, you step on my child and I will come up off this plastic covered bench with no back and knock you off the darn treehouse mahself.


Lucky for them, it didn't come to blows.  This time.
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Just for making me endure all that garbage, I took six of the Purell packets by the door.  And four Sweet-N-Lows.