What I Wish I Had Known As A 1st Time Mom

My oldest child is now 17.  One year left before he's a legal adult.  As cliche as it sounds, it truly does feel like just yesterday I was feeding him in the middle of the night, then potty training,  and then signing him up for Kindergarten.

That first year as a mom was hard.  Bless my heart, I had no idea what I was doing.  No first time mom knows what she's doing!  Here's what I wish I had known when I first became a mom:

• Babies need fed, changed, and loved. You don't have to do it on a schedule just because your friend does.  Feed, change, love. That's it.
  
  
• You WILL sleep again, but it will be a few years.  
  
  
• You will also eventually be able to walk and stand without pain but it's going to be awhile. Also. You'll bleed for every second of those 6 weeks postpartum.  Your friend who felt the need to tell you that she only bled for 3?  Uh...you're not going to be that lucky. 
  
  
• You can shove ice inside baby diapers and wear it as a pad. This is both horrifying and wonderful. You're welcome.
  
  
• Breastfeeding is great. Formula feeding is great. Do what works for you and your baby and tell everyone else to bug off.
  
  
• The sacrifices that you're making for this baby right now?  The pain of those?  You won't regret them 17 years later.
  
  
• Some poop stains will not come out. Throw away the outfit.

If you're a new mom: Hang in there!

If you're in the teen-trenches with me: *raises solidarity fist*

Dear Mom, (A Letter From Your Child's Special Education Teacher)

As we head into a new school year, in the midst of a pandemic no less,  I wanted to share some thoughts with moms of children with disabilities.  When your child is a different learner than most, school can be a new challenge.  This open letter to moms of children with disabilities is from me, a special education teacher.  I hope it gives you peace and comfort at this time of year!

Dear Mom-of-a-child-with-a-disability,

Welcome to the new school year!  I know that this time of year is exciting and scary for you as your child heads back to school.  We're in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic still, your child has a disability, and the world can be a beautiful, frustrating, place.  Even though I don't know you personally, there are some things I know about you.

1. I know that this is scary territory for you.
   
   
2. I know you wonder where they will end up in 5 or 10 years. 
   
   
3. I know you are exhausted.  No matter whether your child has a learning disability, ADHD, emotional disability, Autism, etc... you. are. tired!
   
   
   
4. I know you may have doctor and therapist appointments to keep up with, meltdowns at home (the child's.  Also, maybe your own), and of course, the homework battles.
   
   
5. I know you may be grieving this diagnosis.  You grieve the life you thought you wanted and the life you have.  You grieve the hardship your child may experience.  You grieve that others don't really understand. Anger, denial, bargaining.  It's all part of grief and I've seen parents in all of those stages.

There are some things you should know about me and the staff at school:

1. All of the staff at school are on Team YourKid.  Team Joey. Team Allie.  Team Rosa.  My colleagues and I want your child to be safe, healthy, and learning.  Everything we do revolves around that goal.
   
   
2. When we have an IEP meeting with you, everyone sitting around that table is focused on YOUR child.  Yes, it can be daunting to walk into the office and have 6 professionals sitting there (I think my record is 10 staff members in one conference).  The entire world has stopped and we are JUST there for your child. 
   
   
3. We know you are doing the best you possibly can!  
   
   
4. We know you love your kid. 
   
   
5. When your child starts to get frustrated in the classroom, I go and help.  If he needs a break, we go get a drink of water or play with play-doh.
   
   
6. If your child has a full on meltdown? I'm not judging them. Or you.  Whatever your child did today---they weren't the first and they won't be the last!  I'm unfazed and will gently help them re-regulate themselves.
   
   
7. I'm always trying to do better.  There are countless webinars, twitter chats, conferences, and articles about teaching students with disabilities.  I spend as much time as I can attending and reading so that I can do the very best job for your child. 
   

Mom, that's all I have for you today.  I hope you walk into this new year knowing we are on your side. Whatever this next wild school year brings, we're in it together!  

With Love,

Your Child's Special Education Teacher

34 Snacks for the letters I, J, or K

Continuing in the series of letter themed snacks for your preschool or homeschool snack time, today we have snacks beginning with the letters I, J, or K.

Enjoy!

I snacks
Ice cream
Italian sausage
Ice cream sandwiches
Irish soda bread
Ice Pops
Icees (you can get a box of a 4 pack in the frozen food section)
Ice Breakers
Iced Tea
Iceberg lettuce
Idaho Potatoes
Italian salad dressing
Italian Ice


J snacks
Jello pudding cups
Jello jigglers
Jam
Jelly beans
Jalapeno poppers


K snacks
Kale chips
Kiwi
Kabobs
Kidney beans
Keebler cookies
Kielbasa
Koolaid
Kalamata olives
Kettle corn
Kix cereal
Kumquats
Kelp
Kashi cereal
Kit Kat candy bars
Kaiser roll
Key lime pie
Kisses (Hershey)

This post was shared at the Bloggers Brag Linky.

Weary Mothers

Ever have something smack you upside the head?  A real light bulb moment?  That was me recently.

This Bible verse has been a favorite for a long time:

source

I've always applied to to other things in the Christian life such as serving others, serving within church, doing what's right when no one else is, following God's standards.

Then came a light bulb moment.

This can apply to motherhood too.

One friend of mine has a son with limited immunity.

One friend's daughter was born with Trisomy 18.

One friend's son has ADHD.

One friend's daughter has SPD.

One friend has a child with learning disabilities.

One friend has quadruplets.

One friend has twins.

One friend's son has autism.

Several friends are single moms.

Several friends struggle with depression, anxiety, or other chronic illnesses.

Several friends are military moms with all the extra work and worry that comes with it.

It's not easy.  Moms get weary. I know these friends and their constant therapy appointments, doctor visits, day to day needs, special education meetings, interventions, hospitalizations, expensive experimental treatments, and more.

Some seasons of motherhood are excruciatingly exhausting.  Hang in there Moms.

Let us not grow weary in doing GOOD (good here being doing what our children need.  Maybe you're the mom who devotes 8 hours a week to occupational therapy, speech therapy and physical therapy for ONE child.  Maybe you're the mom who has to work extra hours to afford the tutor for your child.  Maybe you're the mom who dealt with yet another meltdown in public.  Keep doing what you know to do, what your child needs), in due time you will reap the harvest.

(Here are some graphics in case you want to pin this so that on your bad days you'll remember to keep pressing on!) 

 

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P.S. Jen Hatmaker had an excellent post about Sweet vs Spicy families.  I highly recommend you read it!

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P.P.S. This post was shared at Serenity Now and Trust Me I'm A Mom.

mom memories

Everyone tells mothers to "cherish these days". "They go fast." "You'll miss the little things."

When my kids are grown and out of the house, I will miss little handprint smudges on the walls, windows, every counter surface.

When my kids are grown and out of the house, I will miss the sometimes-complex bedtime routines.

When my kids are grown and out of the house, I will miss hearing about the school day.

I will miss cheering at soccer games and belt graduations at karate.
I will miss helping a little one wash his little hands.
I will miss seeing the older one's Lego projects and skateboard tricks.

I will NOT miss getting them {up}, {dressed}, {fed}, and {out} the door for church on Sunday mornings. Not. One. Bit..

source
^Not a real photo of me and my kids. In case you were wondering.

Let's hear it moms: What will you NOT miss 5, 10, 15 years from now?  Sound off in the comments!