Thursday, December 27, 2018

8 Things to Say in a Sympathy Card

Ever needed to send a sympathy card? Ever not been sure what to write?  Whether the loss was anticipated or unexpected, we sometimes lack the words to say.  As someone on the receiving end of a lot of cards (our infant son passed away several years ago), here are some ideas for you:

  1. "I'm very sorry for your loss."
  2. "I am here for you."
  3. "Call anytime, day or night."
  4. "Hoping you can find moments of peace in the days ahead."
  5. Share a memory of the deceased. Ex: "I will always remember when you first introduced me to Joe and he..."
  6. Tell a character trait you admire of the deceased. Ex: "Carol was always so good at making everyone feel welcome. I can see that's where you got your gift at hospitality from!"
  7. "May God grant you comfort during this hard time."
  8. "Thinking of you."

These statements are simple but impactful.  Stay far away from any sort of "They are in a better place now" or "At least..." types of statements. 

Remember: the person experiencing loss will have a hard time all year long as the "firsts" roll around (First birthday without Grandpa, first Christmas, first anniversary of the death, etc).  If you put it on your calendar to send a card/text at those times too it will really help the grieving loved ones.


  1. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. There are some people who just know what to say.

    1. Thank you. Yes some people have a real knack for knowing just what to say at the right moment. <3

  2. I TOTALLY disagree with you!!! Tell a memory about the deceased, or how they affected you or your life, but DON’T give empty promises! Say you’ll call, help, etc., but DO it! Of course you’re sorry, but call or visit, help with housework etc., let them talk, cry or whatever! And don’t shut them down by handing the kleenex. Don’t hem & haw, “I don’t want to disturb them if they’re not thinking about it”, just be there for them! I know what I’m talking about! I’ve buried 3 husband, 3 MIL’s, 3 FIL’s, And my own mother and father! I think I know what I’m talking about! “I’m sorry for your loss, I’ll come to help you soon”! Then do it, no matter what they tell you!!!

    1. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I think we're on the same page here. This post is just what to say in the actual card itself. But you are right that actions are very helpful. When our son died we had people bringing us food, mowing our yard, picking up things from the store for us, etc. It was all SO helpful.
      I'm genuinely sorry for your many great losses. You have been through far more than your fair share of hurt.

    2. You, my dear, are pure class! Wonderful response!

    3. Wow!! Seriously???? Could You Be Anymore “Nasty?" Geez......🙄🙄

  3. Good Lord! Is there a prize because someone has lost a lot more loved ones?
    Reading JustTabandMe's comments I felt like I was being reprimanded because I haven't lost enough people in my life and until I do I won't reach out correctly. There is no threshold. Loss is loss. Once or a hundred times. Bargain Babe, you are quite gracious, and my sympathy for the loss of your son.

  4. Thanks for sharing. These are perfect things to say to someone grieving


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